Friction and Harmony

I’m not sure if this identifies me on the new DHS scale as a “terrorist wacko” or if under the current administration I’m just chillin’…

You Are a Black Panther

You see through people. You understand others’ motives and plans. You have a knack for predicting the future. You just know what people are going to do. People are attracted to you. You are naturally able to influence other people’s thoughts. You have the charisma to be a beloved guru or dictator. It’s all about how you handle it.

Whatever. At least I’m no pussy!

Okay, I got this from Mrs. Who, who along with Pam, stole it from Harvey.  To prove / disprove I have a life, I thought I’d jump in and post my own results:

I don’t think I need to restate the stinkin’ rules.  Rules are for weenies, anyhow.  I just wanted to see if I have seen anywhere near the number of movies Mrs. Who and others have.

Continue if you wish – below the fold…

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Mrs. Who did a Seven Questions meme she got from Tink, then left it as a “Tag Yourself” thing… So why not. I’ve got nothing better to do this evening. No, seriously…

1. Who was your first prom date?

I don’t remember her name… Debbie something, I think. My best friend wanted to bring his girlfriend, but she was from another school and would only go if her best friend could go also. He practically paid me to take the girl. The night went well until I saw a dark scar on her arm while we were eating, and said, “Ohmygod, what happened to your wrist?” The evening pretty much ended there. I learned that she had tried to commit suicide by inserting a needle into her veins and then she RIPPED it out with pliers. Poor child, but… Gah! I can’t imagine.

2. Who was your first roommate?

Same friend, Mark. We were set to be roommates in college, but then I backed out at the last minute at the school in Montana where I convinced him and another friend to follow. They froze their asses off in the -30F weather of Montana’s western Rockies while I ran off to Phoenix, AZ. (My revenge for Jr. Prom, maybe?) A few years later, We roomed together for a short while in our hometown. That didn’t last much longer.

3. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?

The first one was probably to California when I was less than two years old. I don’t really have any direct memories, but I do remember the stories of my sister’s boyfriend driving 800 miles to “surprise” her, and my Dad being so irate he walked through a sliding-glass door at the hotel. In sixth grade, I flew almost weekly between Billings, Montana and Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a puddle-jumper airline, and I’d usually fly the late-night (cheap) flights. I remember feeling like Shatner’s character in the “Gremlins” Twilight Zone episode when I looked outside to see lightning illuminate a mountainside that was so close I could almost count the trees!

4. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

Alone – but it was to meet with my friend Garv so we could go “rolling.” I had to cross a graveyard in the pitch black of night with six rolls of toilet paper stuffed under my clothing. I almost had to use it myself.

5. Whose wedding were you in the first time?

My adoptive sister’s. I was almost five, I was the ring-bearer, and I was seriously pissed because it was Halloween and I had to miss going Trick-or-Treating. I mean, Who the hell gets married on Halloween? It was her first wedding, but it sure wasn’t her last. We were always afraid to talk about her previous marriages to her last husband – who didn’t know about one of her previous husbands, but we were never clear on which one. Yeah, he left her too. She’s now the crazy old lady that lives alone with her cats and screams at the neighborhood kids. I haven’t talked to her since my dad passed away, and I don’t look to hear anything more of her until I read on Drudge that her dessicated mummy was found by a city employee.

Pretty sad, I know.

6. What was the first concert you ever went to?

Wow, I got drug-around by the same crazy sister to some weird shit when I was growing up, so I’m not sure. The first I remember actually buying tickets to was “April Wine” and “Loverboy” to get the attention of a girl named “Fish.” (Honest – that was her last name!) We had to park several blocks away because of a full lot and limited parking due to construction. When we got to the gates, i realized the tickets were still in the ashtray of my car. She rocked the night away with some friends she found in line while I was retrieving the tickets. Oh, and the concert SUCKED. I had better times at the fairgrounds Coloseum seeing punk and ska bands… T.S.O.L., Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Circle Jerks, 004. The one group I wish I had seen live? Talking Heads.

7. First tattoo or piercing?

Left ear – shortly after my eighteenth birthday. My favorite earring was a bundle of dynamite dangling by red and black wire from the detonator pinned to the earlobe. Those were my “punk days” when I also wore a silver and blue mohawk – among other styles and just about every conceivable unnatural color. The peircing has long since closed-over – I haven’t worn an earring since my mid-20′s. I don’t have any tattoos, I but have long entertained the idea. I’ve thought of adding a Smokin’ Elvis Boingo tribute… He’s the guy doin’ watermark time near the top of my page (and bulleting the sidebars). There is another image I would consider getting inked – but that’s a longer story than I would want to include here.

Well that’s my seven, and since I volunteered, I’m not tagging anyone. Ever wonder what made someone like Mrs. Who pick someone like me?? I do – and I count my blessings every day and hope she doesn’t wake-up and change her mind!

Some time ago, our friend Dawn at Overactive Imagination tagged me with the Eight Things meme, and I’m only now getting around to responding.

I know. Sad.

So here goes. Here are eight random facts or personal observations about me, myself and I. Somehow, I had thought that having posted a 100+ Things About Me would have sufficed, but noooooo…

1. I’m not alone in my head. Really. There’s someone else in here with me. I don’t know his or her name — we were never formally introduced — but I’m thankful for the company… I guess. He/She keeps my left prefrontal lobe from spilling out of my cranium, you see… Rather than steel deck-plating, they just gave me cadaver bone to seal the new hole in my head. Ewww!
2. I therefore have someone to blame for The Voices™.
3. The blown sinus cavity above my left eye was the result of an ATV accident in 1983 – two days before Halloween – which pulverized a portion of the frontal bone large enough to place three fingertips into, after the swelling went down. The radiology reports were negative. According to them, the gaping hole I had in my head didn’t exist. Even after repeat X-rays and a CT!!
4. I no longer trust doctors, since I could see the fucking thing on my very first X-ray from 10 feet away, while lying on an Emergency Room gurney with one eye swollen shut and bandaged. They told me I had no idea what I was looking at – and assured me that professional radiologists saw nothing of concern. Gah!
5. My mathematical ability was measurably diminished after my head injury. Dammit! Wait, this list was supposed to be random facts. Hmmm…
6. Uh… I adore Marzipan! More than chocolate. I used to frequent a deli that made the best rare roast beef sandwiches, and I’d always get a slice of raspberry marzipan truffle cake for dessert. Mmmmmmm… (Okay, boring, but I just decided I’m hungry. Can that be #7? ‘I’m hungry?’ No? Shit…)
7. Random… Random. Oh… My therapist broke up with me. It’s not the first time – nor the first therapist to reach the remarkable conclusion that life has generously endowed me with the notorious Flaming Grab-Bag of Shit™. And it’s all weird stuff – most of it too weird to believe, anyway. But it’s mine, and I deal the best I can, which isn’t too well lately… *sigh*
8. Okay, just one more… Hmmm… Short, pithy. Ah! Well, that’s the problem. I don’t do pithy… Pissy, maybe. When I write, I seldom can keep from vomiting through my fingertips onto the screen. I’m sorry!

Since I’ve taken so long to get around to this, and since it already seems that everyone has been plagued tagged with this meme, I’m not tagging anyone. Sorry, but I’m like that. Count that as a bonus #9

Lemon Stand tagged me with this blasted meme. I thought for a while about her suggestion – animals – but I doubt I could come up with 26 different species off the top of my head, let alone link them to blogs. I thought of Oingo Boingo song titles, since I can do that in my sleep – but then there are noticeable gaps – not every letter of the alphabet is covered, but it would have made for some damn-interesting blog-links… Well, to me anyway. It probably would not have been so humorous or entertaining to anyone else who is not familiar with the band’s music. Nix that idea.

I even thought of going with the micro-bio route and assigning various bacteria, protozoa and other organisms and microscopic matter to bloggers and websites. But I figured branding folks with the likes of Escherichia coli and certain spirochetes may not be fun, either. At least Harvey would have been easy – being that he’s such a prolific blogparent…

So I went back to the roots of this meme and took to finding a ‘live’ sample to go with each band that I came up with. I decided to try to stick with the ’80′s, and for the most part, I stayed as true to that theme as I could. From my head, I pulled all but three or four bands. K and X and Z were tough – and no, I didn’t ‘cheat’ using Kate Bush. It was her or Klymaxx on song availability. Okay, so there’s Kajagoogoo and the Knack, but… Ewwww. Of course Queen was something I was “over” by at least the early-mid eighties, so I included it only under duress. (Tangent Alert: I do listen to Queen now, however. If you’ve never listened carefully to the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody, do so – it’s eerie when you consider Freddie Mercury’s fate and the fact he wrote BR years before AIDS was even heard of.)

Anyway, song availability changed my list up a little bit – there were actually a lot of other titles that I wished I could have added, and more that I found along the way. But if I hadn’t limited myself to one title per band, my list would have been endless. So for the sake of brevity… Here’s it is:

Bitterroot’s ’80′s Music From A to Z

A. Art of Noise (First all-digital CD on my first CD component stereo system. Awesome!)

B. Bow Wow Wow (I used to [heart] the lead singer. Therapy helped.)

C. Cramps (Wild concert – uh… What I remember, anyway. Torn shirt. Blood. Lost wallet.)

D. Dead Kennedys (Depeche Mode was my alternate, but that was too easy – have seen both in concert multiple times.)

E. Eurythmics (Annie Lennox is awesome – Alison Moyet [YAZ] in same mental file. The voices, I guess.)

F. Faith No More (Weird hair days. Don’t ask)

G. Genesis (Great band – Spinoff talent was even more interesting)

H. Human League (Fun memory ‘singalong’ song – weird story)

I. Information Society (Dance tunes – Club Xenon. Heh.)

J. J. Geils Band (I can’t believe this got in here either. Ack!)

K. Kate Bush (Great radio tunes – but I never cared to invest in anything of hers)

L. Level 42 (Background music – I can see myself at an intersection in the town where I lived whenever I hear this – weird)

M. Madness (Love ‘em – fun pop-ska brit band)

N. New Order (Great concerts – but for the fact they all ran on floppy and the ‘talent’ just stood there and sang)

O. Oingo Boingo (Favorite band from ’81 to today – Three times in concert and a band-autographed ‘Dead Man’s Party’ album – that was lost in a move – AAAARGH!)

P. Propaganda (More background music – nothing I owned.)

Q. Queen (Legendary. Too ‘old-school’ for me at the time, but I respect the talent.)

R. Rancid (More into the 90′s – but I still love a ska band!)

S. Sisters of Mercy (Goth band of many iterations – one or two of ‘em are listenable. Great ‘Bad-Mood’ music.)

T. Talking Heads (My second favorite band during the 80′s – don’t listen to ‘em as much anymore. More “mood music” – not necessarily ‘bad-mood’ music, but I associate so much of it now with darker times.)

U. UB40 (I’d have sooner put a gun to my PC than post ‘Red Red Wine’… And to my head before posting anything by U2…)

V. Violent Femmes (Trashed my CD’s when they spit repeatedly on the audience. Their stage presence sucks!)

W. Wham! (NOT! – Ha! did I scare you?) How about ‘Wall of Voodoo‘ instead:

X. XTC* (~#$%^^#%$#!! – Don’t ask.)

Y. Yello (Cool band – ‘You Gotta Say Yes…’ was a fave album)

Z. *ZZ Top (LOL – Legs and a few other mainstream hits were fun – otherwise too Texas for me at the time, I guess.)

*XTC – This one was a convoluted thought-process. I hate XTC – almost as much as I hate Wham! – but I ran into a title I’d never seen before by They Might Be Giants, called XTC vs. Adam Ant. I snickered. Then I remembered a song that was by The Nails, which is what in a roundabout way became TMBG – who eventually remade the same song. So 88 Lines is a tribute to TMBG who spoofed XTC (and as a bonus, Adam Ant!) Got it? Good.

** ZZ Top – I know it. You know it. The song attached to this title isn’t at all by ZZ Top – which is why I put it there. It’s “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. It also happens to be ‘Mojo’s’ song – Mojo is my black pickup, and when he was a baby rolling off the lot, B2tB was the song playing when I turned on the radio for the first time. It stuck. He’s taken me almost a quarter-million miles, and though he’s a little battle-weary, he’s still tough as hell.

Despite suffering a bout of what I now term “Lemon-Turettes” while sitting at my keyboard for several hours, I really DID have fun with this. However… As far as tagging people, I hate, hate, hate doing that. I hate to impose myself on other people’s schedules as it is – least of all when I barely know them and have no earthly idea what their schedules might be filled with. SO… If you read this and want to volunteer to give it a go, email me (bitterroot [at] frictionandharmony [dot] com) and I’ll make you an official and revered tag-ee.

Benefits of revered status to be negotiated upon acceptance, this offer is not valid in all fifty states of mind nor in un-integrated personalities, constrictions may be plied, some assembly required, batteries not included.

1. I’m a terrible procrastinator – I’ve been meaning to sit-down and do this list for more than a month. So here goes…
2. My earliest verifiable memory was when I was only 9 months old: I remember seeing sky and a strange man through a hole in the ceiling of our home. We were having a “swamp-cooler” installed. That was August, 1966.
3. I was adopted.
4. In November, 1994, I became a Reunited Adoptee.
5. My birthmother is my best friend – I see or at least talk to her every day.
6. I call her MamaBear.
7. I’m her Cub – and I’m proud of that title.
8. I resent the guilt people place on me for “leaving” my adoptive family.
9. I didn’t leave them – I expanded my family.
10. I was my MamaBear’s only child – she wasn’t supposed to be able to have children, but someow I sneaked-in.
11. I have five (known) half-siblings.
12. I’ve met only three of them – and I keep-up with none of them since my birthfather died.
13. Three of my four parents have passed away – all within a span of 19 months.
14. I waited until it was nearly too late to get to know my birthfather.
15. He and I grew very, very close in the last few months of his life.
16. When we first met, I called him by his first name – by the time he died, he was my “Pop”.
17. Among the few things he left me was a Ruger Redhawk single-action .357 Magnum revolver. It was the same .357 Mag that he used to save MamaBear from a near ‘carjacking’ decades earlier.
18. I’m proud to own that gun, though I haven’t even fired it yet.
19. My adoptive family was… kind of scary.
20. Except for my brother, Bob – he was the ‘normal’ one.
21. Bob has Downs Syndrome.
22. He’s thirteen years older than me, but I’m still his “big brother”.
23. I’m proud of that title too.
24. I was named after my adoptive sister’s first two boyfriends.
25. I’ve hated my name all my life because of that.
26. My ‘official’ IQ is supposedly 134, but I feel stupid as a rock most of the time.
27. I’m extremely self-conscious of the fact that I never finished college.
28. But I haven’t yet decided what I want to be when I grow up. Oops – too late!
29. I wanted to go into medicine – until my sister married a doctor and I lived for a while with them.
30. He was a miserable sonofabitch – and made me second-guess the whole med-school thing.
31. My adoptive father went to prison in my senior year of high school.
32. That blew my hopes of going to college at the time.
33. My dad’s “business associates” once gave me a “gift” – some very expensive camera equipment.
34. Later, some of the same “business associates” held a gun to my head and told me to deliver a “message” to my dad – he had been cooperating with investigators while in prison.
35. When I went to the police about it, they said “they sound like bad people – try to stay away from them, but call us if anything happens.”
36. That’s when I knew I couldn’t count on the police for help in an immediate life-threatening situation.
37. That’s one of the reasons why I carry a gun.
38. I also carry because it’s my right as an American Citizen as granted under the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America.
39. I don’t believe the words, “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed” has anything at all to do with the National Guard or the BATFE. It is the original establishment of Homeland Security.
40. I’ve used a gun to protect myself or my family on several occasions – as recently as two weeks before I wrote this.
41. I name everything, especially my guns, my vehicles, and personal and major appliances.
42. My truck’s name is Mojo – he’s from New Orleans.
43. Mojo has over 22o,ooo miles, but he runs well and I don’t want to give him up – and even though I don’t feel like he’s reliable enough to leave town any more, he’s hands-down the best vehicle I have ever owned. Mojo is a 1997 Ford F-150 with a V-6 and standard transmission.
44. I was conceived in New Orleans, but born in Los Angeles.
45. I don’t consider myself a California native!
46. When I was adopted, I was taken to live in Utah.
47. I hate, hate, HATE Utah.
48. I’m Roman Catholic – which is just one of the things that made growing up in Utah such a pain in the ass.
49. We were the only Catholic family in the neighborhood – everyone else was Mormon.
50. In the summer months, the religious tension was offset by the fact that we had the only swimming pool in the neighborhood.
51. Even then, there were kids in the neighborhood I couldn’t play with because I was “*spit* Catholic *spit*”
52. The local Mormon “Bishop” lived three doors down from us – he molested my sister when she was only thirteen or fourteen.
53. His daughters – around my age – liked to “play doctor” with me in the pool dressing rooms.
54. Knowing what I know now about sexual abuse, I have no doubt he was molesting them too.
55. Did I mention I hate Utah and the Mormon church?
56. My neighborhood was immediately adjacent to that of a 5-house polygamist family.
57. One of my friends was the child of said polygamist – he had over 28 siblings by five “mothers”.
58. I witnessed what the Mormon Church says does not exist.
59. My adoptive mother was a convert to Catholicism from the Mormon church. She became a convert because it was my then anonymous MamaBear’s wishes that I be raised Catholic. That wasn’t a ‘binding’ condition of my adoption – she did it out of love.
60. My adoptive maternal grandfather was one of over 20 children.
61. He was the only Grandpa I had known.
62. He died when I was only four – although we had been very close in those few short years.
63. One of my most vivid memories of him was when he doubled-over in laughter while talking at the telephone. It was the police. My father had just hit a moving train while driving drunk in my sister’s new 1969 Camaro SS. He survived. The car didn’t.
64. I saw my Grandpa standing in the cemetary at his funeral – when I tried to get Mom’s attention to show her, he was gone.
65. Spooky things like that used to happen to me all the time when I was young.
66. So I developed an interest in the Occult in my early teens – mostly for ‘shock value’, but partly to find an explanation of what or why these things were happening around me.
67. As a result, I no longer doubt the real presence of evil in our world.
68. Ironically, it made me want to be a better Catholic.
69. By no means do I consider myself a good Catholic – I wish I had a much better grasp of my faith.
70. To date a girl, I once conceded to allow Mormon missionaries to ‘instruct’ me in their faith.
71. I got one of them expelled for continually touching his crotch while staring at my girlfriend’s chest during our ‘lessons’ – mine evidently was not the only complaint about him.
72. Ultimately, I ended up in my girlfriend’s living room with two pair of missionaries, their mission ‘president’ and their ward bishop all trying to convince me that my ‘notion’ of a Triune God was not scriptural, defended their doctrines of Mary as being one of God’s wives, and then there was that whole Planet Kolob thing…
73. After continually telling me to just read the Book of Mormon and pray… pray about the “truth they were revealing to me,” they acted offended when I asked them in return to pray about the validity of what I was sharing with them of my faith. It was like I had asked them to stick their heads in a pot of boiling oil.
74. Oh, did I forget to say I hate Utah and the Mormon Church?
75. I’d like to study more about Catholic Apologetics.
76. Sometimes I think I cogitate too much.
77. I think ‘cogitating’ only sounds dirty – unless you’re doing it right.
78. Okay so I have a weird sense of humor, too.
79. I don’t show my emotions readily – people tell me I’m remarkably calm and collected when I’m actually screaming inside.
80. Unless the emotion is anger and I want people to see it. Then it’s difficult to mistake.
81. I can make most people wither with a glance – and have been told I can be “scary without saying a word”.
82. I like being able to do that – it’s a timesaver.
83. This list has been a lot easier to write than I had thought… Even though it’s much darker than I thought it would be.
84. I thought it would be about things like the fact I commonly ice my milk.
85. Instead, I can say things like, “I’m not afraid of death because I’ve already experienced it.”
86. Which I have – I drowned when I was 11.
87. My father had tied me up and thrown me in the swimming pool.
88. He wasn’t trying to kill me – he was trying to teach me a survival technique he once demonstrated in a World’s Fair exhibition – but he was too drunk to notice that I had failed the lesson.
89. My neighbor resuscitated me.
90. I didn’t remember much of that event until many years later.
91. After the initial panic, I remember that it was… peaceful.
92. For all I’ve gone through, I’m amazed I’m not a drug-addict or alcoholic.
93. In fact, though I do drink, I simply can’t drink in excess.
94. Beer and wine give me an almost instant splitting headache, though I love an occasional ice-cold Corona with lime – especially with Mexican food.
95. My alcoholic beverages of choice are: Sazerac cocktail, Stinger cocktail, Crown, Maker’s Mark, or Gentleman Jack whiskey on the rocks, Wild Turkey Rye – chilled and served neat, and for a F**k-the-World moment: a shot or two of some top-shelf tequila – salt and lime optional but hardly necessary.
96. I’ve never had an interest in drugs, but I did unwittingly take an “acid-trip” once.
97. LSD was slipped to me in some food at a drive-in theater. (remember those?)
98. I remember seeing nothing but colors – light flares and ‘tracers’ as I drove my car home after the movie. That and the sensation that ice-cold air from the air-conditioning vent was making frost form on my arm…
99. My car didn’t have air conditioning – and it was July. In the desert climate of Utah.
100. I decided ‘acid’ was a cheap substitute for retrofitting a 1971 Pontiac GT-37 with air conditioning in the summer heat – but I thought best and never tried it again.
101. I had one ‘flashback’ experience while driving some months later. As I was waiting in a left-turn lane, I pulled into the middle of a busy intersection when I “saw GREEN“ – even though the light wasn’t – and I nearly got creamed by a truck.
102. I’m starting to feel a little self-conscious about releasing my “100-Things” list.
103. I mean, it’s pretty weird – all of it. Don’t you think?
104. So, how about: My favorite color is violet. No! Wait! I mean it’s… [*sproing*]
105. Oingo Boingo and Talking Heads are my two favorite bands – and have been since about 1980.
106. That’s 27 years.
107. Damn, I’m feeling old.
108. Wow. I blew-by my 100 Things List – and then some – in one-sitting. Heh.

*UPDATE on #104: It’s an evidently too-oblique reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail for chrissakes! Sheesh!

More than I thought, evidently.

I shamelessly copied this from Mrs.Who, because through it I actually learned a few things about her. I was also surprised to find that there were so many things I could mark – and it may even be useful as a “To-Do” list…

Rules – copy the list and bold face the items you’ve done. Wait for some comments then answer the questions.

I don’t believe in “Rules” – do with this what you will…

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Driven anything over 100 MPH
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb* (Is a baby goat – a “kid” – close enough?)
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing* (Spelunking – rock-climbing in the dark!)
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow* (again – does a goat count?)
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours – Good Drugs
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad – and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life* (Gah! Don’t remind me!!)

Too bad the CDC can’t do something to prevent the spread of memes.
I knew it was coming.

Mere hours before we were tagged, I said to Mrs. Who, “I dread this damned Christmas meme that’s hitting everybody. You know it’s just a matter of time…”

Sure enough, thanks to Teresa at Technicalities, I’ve taken a direct hit. It’s certainly not unexpected. Afterall, it was Harvey who prescribed a meme for my alleged “irritability.” If Teresa hadn’t already tagged him, I would have…

**WARNING** Christmas-spirited folk may not want to read further. The lack of Christmas cheer in this post may be considered toxic. Mrs. Who seemed to think so, anyway. You have been warned!

So here goes the “Christmas Meme”:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Neither – I usually bring it out from behind a chair or something. If I have to. But it’s paper if I must.

2. Real tree or artificial? Tree? What’s this about a tree? Mrs. Who has already told you about our current lack of holiday decor. In the past, however, we have done real, artificial and living. Prefer the living, since I can at least use it for landscaping afterward. If’n I’m going to spend $50.00 on a damned TREE, it better be around for more than two weeks!

3. When do you put up the tree? Not until I absolutely have to – as in, kids are clamoring for it.

4. When do you take the tree down? As soon as humanly possible. I know it’s supposed to stay up throughout the Christmas Octave, but it’s usually down (if’n it was up to begin with) by mid-afternoon on the 26th.

5. Do you like eggnog? You bet! Almost as much as my cat does.

6. Favorite gift you received as a child? That would have to be the Vertibird. I used to chase the dog with it. Here’s a cool modern simulation – sans terrified terrier.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? Actually it’s a BEAR-tivity. We’re adding to it this year. Mrs. Who has a pic of it on her site, so I won’t duplicate it here.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Anyone. I hate trying to figure out what to buy for whom. I hate it. I mean, I really despise the obligation to ‘gift’ people, and I hate to be asked ‘what I want for Christmas!’ HATE IT!

9. Easiest person to buy for? MamaBear (my mom). She’s of the same mindset as I (i.e., I get it honestly), and usually doesn’t want anything, but she’ll give an ‘out’ with specifics on a book or household item she needs.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Christmas cards? *cough*

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A thoroughly chewed-up ‘Spirograph‘ set. (The unnamed gift in this story.)

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Carol – virtually any version. Great character development, but the ending always lets me down.

13. When do you start shopping? Shopping? Heh… right.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Me? Recycle a gift? Never! I’m a ‘one-bin’ Republican! I don’t sort my garbage!!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Polish Turkey. Or Ham and mashed ‘taters with ham gravy. Or smoked Boston Butt. I won’t turn-down the food!

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear. No blinky. The less audacious and attention-grabbing the better. I once threatened to get a squat, black-flocked tree and put all-red lights on it. Mom looked worried and said I should probably see a therapist. She may have had a point.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Hmmm… I think it’s gotta be this.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Eighteen questions later – what do you think?

19. Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeers? Let’s see, there’s Rudolph and… *looking over Mrs. Who’s shoulder* Olive!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Considering Contagion’s answers were nearly as disturbing as my own up to this point – I’m with him on this one. Actually, they don’t let me spike the angel.

21. Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? If they open them now, can I sleep-in?

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? That would be… uh… Christmas!

23. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? Actually, I do try to take-in the true meaning of Christmas. The best Christmas I have ever had was focused entirely on the liturgical events of the season and nothing else. No Santa, no gifts, no mindless shoving and cursing and pushing people, trying to be the first to get to the turkey…

24. What would you like for Christmas? One-hundred million USD in untraceable offshore bearer-bonds and a numbered Swiss bank account. No questions asked. I promise! Oh, and a DPMS Panther LRT-SASS with optics for …erm… security.

So that’s it. There’s my first meme – at least on F’nH. I have no doubt some folks will be walking away with shocked, traumatized looks. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Since everybody on God’s Green Earth seems to have been tagged, I’ll get the ONE person that I told Mrs. Who was for me to pick-off… Deathknyte at Bad Catholocism. You’re it!

But in keeping with my own personal brand of Christmas Spirit* and since just about everybody I read regularly has already been stabbed with this one, I’ll leave it to you to tag or not to tag…

*You may substitute Southern Comfort and eggnog if you prefer. Frankly, I’d recommend it.