Friction and Harmony

Well, Dale Peterson failed in his bid for Ag Commissioner in Alabama, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need him elsewhere…

I say we put him in charge of this oil spill crisis.  He’d probably have the wellhead contained before 5:00 PM his first day on the job —  or someone’s getting shot in the ass! 

I’ve watched the tweets/Facebook posts for months, and have laughed hilariously. When I first read the opening lines of a story on the controversy of CBS launching a new sitcom with a “profane” title based on Shit My Dad Says, I thought, “Bullshit! No way they can do it justice!”

But THEN, a few more lines in… The curmudgeonly father will be played by Shatner? Oh HELL yes! I’m laughing already! I hope they can manage to work around the title – it will never fly with the inference to obscenity. It can’t – not in Prime Time family viewing. Honestly, I’d rather see it on a cable channel where they could keep the title and work more liberally with language to keep it closer to its source. But it’s still Shatner, and I’ll still be tuning in. Unless it totally blows because of pantywaist network execs exerting their stifling will on the creator and producers…. We shall see:

On Monday, I read an article about Obama’s “back door” tax increases on the middle class, H/T Big Dick. Today, a friend had made a comment on Facebook about an IRS solicitation to obtain shotguns, and I attempted to respond with a link to that story on the middle class tax hit.

Guess what… It’s gone.   Yahoo news took the story down within hours of posting it.  Not too surprising, however.

So I checked Google Cache, and voila!  There it is.   I went on to post the Google cache URL for that article in Facebook, and would you know…

Seriously?  A link to a story about the administration’s proposed budget is “offensive”?  You’ve got to be kidding me!

So I used TinyURL.com to condense the…

Shit, I gotta go.  Someone’s POUNDING on the door and won’t go away.

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I started playing with Xtranormal.com web-based animation production today.

Totally lacking in originality, I tried my hand at re-creating what I believe was an old Robin Williams joke that I recall from many years past.  I got the idea while walking through posts over at Pam’s, so I think it’s appropriate I dedicate this to her.  Hope you warm up soon, Pam!! 

If they were honest about it:

I stole this from the Rott because 1.) it made me LOL on sight, and 2.) I still can’t comment there for some reason:

Oh, and 3.) because my sense of humor is evidently genuinely responsive to this kind of freakishly bizarre visual. 

Even the Von Trapps have fallen on hard times:

Mrs. Who called me at work this morning to do a telephone errand for her, since “something just isn’t right when I call from work, and I don’t want to try it again!”  I could hear the panic in her voice.  She was trying to call to purchase tickets for herself and PrincessNO to attend a special benefit performance of “The Sound of Music” at the local community theatre.  The telephone number for the tickets had been printed in our Sunday Church Bulletin.

“What do you mean?  What happens?” I asked.

“Well, when I call the number as it’s listed in our Bulletin, there’s a recording to call another number.  Then…  It gets really weird.  It’s another recording…”  Her voice dropped, and became completely unintelligible.

“What?”  I’m thinking, ‘damn cell phones…’

“…”  More garbled speech.  I could tell she was doing something to the phone, because I could hear children playing in the background, then the noises would muffle just as she began to speak.

“Honey, I can’t hear whatever it is you’re trying to say,” I complained.  “What do you want me to do…”

“I can’t say it loud!” she protested.   Then, she spoke again – and I immediately understood why she was trying to hide her voice…  “It says something about HOT, HORNY WOMEN! I can’t call numbers like that from my school!!”

Well, having been given permission a direct order to call a telephone sex chat line by my wife, I obliged.  Sure enough, our Church had somehow managed to give the congregation a ‘benefit’ telephone number to an adult chat line.

The kicker…  The production is to benefit a local unwed mothers’ home. 

I.  Kid.  You.  Not.

*Oh, and please pray for me, since Mrs. Who is going to kick my ass for posting this. 

Geez, a few years ago this was a joke.  Now I’m thinking THIS would have been a better idea than giving a $Trillion to the government to enact broad-based $ocialism:

Might have killed two birds with one Trillion-dollar stone, anyway.  Naaah.

This comes from Gunner’s Military Humor, USAFNS:

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Tony, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes ma’am.  My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.  She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.  She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.  She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last enemy with her bare hands.”

“Good Heaven’s” said the horrified teacher.  “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Karen when she’s drinking”.

NSFW – unless your office is a whole lot like mine.