Friction and Harmony

On June 6, 1999, I knelt in the surf of the Gulf of Mexico and promised her “Adventure.”  She bought it.  I guess she must have thought it sounded like fun.  On March 11, 2000, she became my wife, and it’s been nothing but “adventure” ever since.  At least I held up my end of the bargain!

Ten whole years… Wow!  Sweetheart, I can’t imagine my world without you…

I love the feel of you.

I love to touch you – to hold you and to be held by you.

I love your wit and intelligence – to talk with you, to listen and be inspired and amused, and to understand and be understood by you.

I love to laugh and play with you – to chase you through the house and tussle the sheets with you.

I love your fire and enthusiasm for the causes that move you, and your faith.

I love your practicality and logic, your love for science fiction and your voracious appetite for real books.

I love your devotion to children and the way you flirt with babies to make them smile in line at the supermarket.

I love to hear you sing when you think I’m not listening.

I love that even after 10 years, we still know and enjoy some modesty.

I love to watch you dress in the mornings, almost as much as I like to watch you undress - the vision of you still excites me.

I love to open doors for you, to guide you through a door or into a room by the small of your back.

I love to cuddle with you, to hold your hand, to brush your cheek and play with your ear.

I love your beautiful green eyes and they way they light up when you laugh.

I love having you as my wife, my partner, my lover, my best friend.

I love you.

And of course, I’m ever thankful that you even put up with me!

Happy Anniversary, Kitten!

Mrs. Who and I celebrated Halloween in a special way today…

We went to the Gun Show. 

She’s a 12 GA. FN Herstal Tactical Police shotgun.  Perfect for dispatching REAL goblins.

But I do need to clarify some things…

Fact:  Mrs. Who knew about the gun show before I did – over a week ago.  She drives much further to and from work than I do and had noticed the roadside signs advertising the event.

Fact:  It was Mrs. Who’s idea to go.  She brought it up.  She suggested it would be a good way to spend the day.  She even invited some teacher friends to come from Florida – the same friends that spent the day shooting with her.

Fact:  She had reminded me about it again on Friday evening,  “Don’t forget, we have the gun show tomorrow!”

Fact:  She recalled that I had been tempted at a previous show by this particular gun, and mused aloud, “I wonder if they will have that police shotgun you liked last time…”

Fact:  It was Mrs. Who who paid our admission to the gun show.  When we were getting in the car, I noted that I had NO cash in my wallet and we’d have to run by my bank’s ATM (about six miles in the wrong direction).  She piped up, “No we don’t!  I already got cash to get us in.”

Fact:  Mrs. Who stood by my side as I was looking at this beauty and said, “SO!  Are we going to get her?”  She had a grin on her face.

Fact:  When I was checking out, they told me that there was a 3% transaction fee to use plastic.  Mrs. Who immediately volunteered to run to her own bank on the corner a few blocks away to draw cash while I filled out the BATFE paperwork.  Therefore, the bulk of the immediate cash for this purchase was “borrowed” from her account.  I guess I’ll have to make it up to her later. 

Fact:  As we were walking to the car with our new home defense purchase, Mrs. Who told me, “Her name is Charlotte.”  (we name ALL our guns.  And our vehicles.  And major appliances.  And other things…)  I quipped, “I guess that means she’s yours.”  She just smiled.

FACT:  As we were pulling out of the lot with our new purchases and I exclaimed, “Gawd, I soooo didn’t prepare to drop a grand at a gun show today!” (I also bought over $225 in reloading supplies and even found some reasonably priced .380 ammo.)  Mrs. Who looked at me with raised eyebrows and said, “Hey, don’t look at me – YOU’RE the one that wanted that shotgun!”

FACT: I almost locked the wheels up and drove us off the road, “WHAT???  You’re not putting this all on ME!  Who was standing at my side at that table with a big grin and puppy dog eyes?!”  She just giggled.  We drove on.

CONCLUSION:  I adore my gun lovin’, Southern sweetheart of a wife!!

(But I think I lost me a shotgun…)

This post has been sitting in my Drafts bin for a while. I’ll post it finally, ’cause frankly I could use a pick-me-up and ska music can be my irresistible force.

First, something that drives a little…  How about a Buck o’ Nine?

Here’s some “fluff” – Madness is “ska-light” I guess, but this was one of my favorites from them, and a lot of fun.

Likewise, another something fun, this time Mighty Mighty Bosstones:

And one more time, picking up the beat with Rancid:

Rancid -Time Bomb

There, I feel better already! 

Somewhere on Facebook, I attempted to contribute this short story of my experience with Colon Cancer – the disease that took someone dear from me.  I don’t know if it made it or not.  When I pressed “Submit,” everything disappeared, and Farce-book crashed.  I don’t know even where I found the Colon Cancer survivors group, but I figure if it was meant to get out there, it will.  If not, that’s fine too.

Fortunately, I had the foresight to Cut-Copy my text to a document before sending it off to the bit-ocean of the Internet.  Here it is, mostly for me, but if someone needs to read my words, I figure the Holy Spirit knows how to direct a Google search: 

(I’m sticking it below the fold — )

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I found a way to satisfy the Birthday tradition of signifying one’s age in candles atop a birthday cake AND keep the Fire Marshall from having to issue a permit:

My lovely wife is this many today…

And she is so NOT amused by my creativity! 

Please – distract her for a second while I make my run for safety do stop by and wish her a Happy Birthday!

Before I say anything else… Thank you, everyone.

The outpouring of love, well-wishes and prayers from our family, friends, parishioners, and all you who have touched our lives and hearts through the blogosphere has been and continues to be profoundly moving.

We knew our little one would have to overcome a great deal to make it “all the way”… We were surprised and overjoyed at her mere (albeit surprising) presence, which touched our whole family and all our friends so deeply. Her loss was not so sudden. It was the desperate, tragic and dwindling loss of hope which made losing our baby so terribly painful… I tried to deny it as long as I could. I tried to tell myself that our baby was never really here, so it couldn’t be so painful as it felt deep inside. Perhaps I could have continued that charade for a while…

Thankfully, tonight we lit a candle to mark our loss, and to honor the little soul that I feel with all my heart awaits us in Heaven. It wasn’t until I saw the expressions of grief around me that I knew I could fully acknowledge my own.

Each of our children displayed their own sadness at the loss, consistent with their unique and wonderful personalities.  Goob – our gentle-hearted “rebel” – laid his head on my shoulder and hugged me.  PrincessNo – our tender, sweet and dynamic little girl on the brink of being a stunning young lady – silently cried, tears streaming down her face.  Eraserhead – our likely future attorney whom seems somehow genetically compelled to plead for fairness and justice wherever he encounters the slightest iniquity - pleaded this time for hope, demanding that our collective joy should not turn to loss so quickly.  And Buck – our future Marine – quietly, stoically clenched his jaw and stared the “thousand yard stare,” deep into the living room wall.

Mrs. Who and I quietly wept, held each other and dreamed of the beautiful, smoochable, loving and bright little one we might have had… If only. Then we held hands and prayed as a family for our family’s newest Ambassador to Heaven.

While her name was perhaps never to be written in this world, it is forever etched in our hearts, and in His.

Goodbye for now, little one.  You are one powerful little soul to have touched our lives so deeply without us ever having had the chance to count your tiny fingers and toes, smell your sweet hair or blow kisses on your tummy while delighting in your laughter…  You only had to be for a moment to lift all our hearts.  And what a precious moment it was.  You made us One.

Until we see you, Sweetheart, one bright and joyous day…

We love you.

My Lord, our baby is dead!

Why, my Lord — dare I ask why?  She will not hear the whisper of the wind nor see the beauty of her parents’ faces — she will not see the beauty of Your creation nor the flame of a sunrise.  Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child — do you ask ‘why’?  Well, I will tell you why.

You see, your child lives!  Instead of the wind, she hears the sound of angels singing before My throne.  Instead of the beauty that passes, she sees everlasting Beauty—she sees My face.  She was created and lived a short time so the image of her parents imprinted on her face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor.  She knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth.  She laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess.  My ways are not the ways of man.  I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another.  She was created for My joy and her parents’ merits.  She has never seen pain or sin.  She has never felt hunger or pain.   I breathed a soul into a seed, made her grow and called her forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love.  I speak as a fool — forgive me.  I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death.  I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.

– Mother M. Angelica